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  #91  
Old 6th January 2017
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{Teri duniya se dur....}
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Nice start vishu,
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Meri yaad aayegi jab dur chali jaungi...
Dur itna ki kabhi lot ke nahi aaungi...
Ab tak shayad apke dil me rehti thi...
Fir apki yaad me bas jaungi...
Yaad ayegi meri baate or mulakate...
Magar tab kabhi apsee mil nahi paungi...
Bahut dur ja chuki houngi apse...
Per dil ko yahi chod jaungi...
Aansu mat bahana mujhe yaad karke...
Warna apse naraj ho jaungi...



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  #92  
Old 6th January 2017
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Angel Swati Angel Swati is offline
{Teri duniya se dur....}
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Join Date: 19th February 2016
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Posts: 12,450
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Angel Swati has hacked the reps databaseAngel Swati has hacked the reps databaseAngel Swati has hacked the reps databaseAngel Swati has hacked the reps databaseAngel Swati has hacked the reps databaseAngel Swati has hacked the reps databaseAngel Swati has hacked the reps databaseAngel Swati has hacked the reps databaseAngel Swati has hacked the reps databaseAngel Swati has hacked the reps database
Rated 5
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Meri yaad aayegi jab dur chali jaungi...
Dur itna ki kabhi lot ke nahi aaungi...
Ab tak shayad apke dil me rehti thi...
Fir apki yaad me bas jaungi...
Yaad ayegi meri baate or mulakate...
Magar tab kabhi apsee mil nahi paungi...
Bahut dur ja chuki houngi apse...
Per dil ko yahi chod jaungi...
Aansu mat bahana mujhe yaad karke...
Warna apse naraj ho jaungi...



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  #93  
Old 6th January 2017
borndevil borndevil is offline
 
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Perfect he update 1....

sorry... ab se hindi aur english only ...

sharp narration ki ek thodi si jalak to dikh rahi he....

bas app apni tarike se likhiye... me to born devil hu kuch bhi suggestions deta hu... dekhte he aage kya hota he...

critics :

start se behosi tak ka plot well executed ... well narrated ...jaagne par jo ladkiyo ki conversation he ekdum sahi he... record wali baat funny... thik he.. ye first n my last critic.... sorry ab to me silently read karoonga...
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  #94  
Old 6th January 2017
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mohit98075 mohit98075 is offline
Ye Dil Mange More
 
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Dhak....Dhak....Dhak....
Ye aawaj hi to hai jab hum ekant me ho. dimak me koi baat na ho aur dil bole...Dhak...Dhak...
School time par kai baar paryer ke samay dhoop ki vajah se student behosh ho bhi jate hai....ye to maine bhi kaiyo ke is haal me dekha hai...uske baad maze bhi liye US bande ke...
Magar yaha par to heroine hi behosh ho gayi...ab kyu hui uska intzaar rahega...tab na kuch idhar bhi kahuga...
School time par jiske sath esha hota hai to dimak me esi baat aa Hi jati hai.. kya kahege sab...
Chalo thodi hasi mazak ho gayi...ab mam ke sath kon aaya...jisko dono janti hai....


starting
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update-51
Kuch is terha guzarti ab, humaari har shaam hai,
Ek haath tasveer unki to, aik haath jaam hai!

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  #95  
Old 6th January 2017
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♠ I H♥TE Y♥U
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Nice update mam....
First 1 update kafi acha starting kiya hai...

Ek ehsas diya ki kuch to hua rishu ke sath....lekin itan bi nahi sochahiye ki choti-choti baton...

Ayse kahi mod apne zindagi me ate hai...kahi tarah ke comments karte hai log lekin yah to rishu pahile se soch rahi hai ki behosh hone se sab usko kuch kahenge....

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  #96  
Old 6th January 2017
SeventhDemon SeventhDemon is online now
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Nice start Dear

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  #97  
Old 6th January 2017
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CYCLONE4487 CYCLONE4487 is offline
hum bewafa kyun hain? 💔
 
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Sabse pahle ek vishu ki taraf se dusri vishu ko for new thread....
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My thread : ''Hum bewafa hargiz na the" : Update no 60 B
"Mumbai Mahanagari" : Update no 37
"Khullam Khulla Pyar Karenge Hum Dono, Is Duniya Se Nahi Darenge Hum Dono
Pyar Hum Karte Hai Chaori Nahi, Milgaye Dil Jora Jori Nahi "


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  #98  
Old 6th January 2017
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samrocker samrocker is online now
In Search Of New Adventure
 
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simple start and nice update ...ladkiya notanki humesha jyada karthi he yahi firse sabit hogayi
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update 14 posted

Last edited by samrocker : 6th January 2017 at 11:51 PM.

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  #99  
Old 6th January 2017
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CYCLONE4487 CYCLONE4487 is offline
hum bewafa kyun hain? 💔
 
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Introduction aur prolouge bahut hi lajawab hain...
______________________________
My thread : ''Hum bewafa hargiz na the" : Update no 60 B
"Mumbai Mahanagari" : Update no 37
"Khullam Khulla Pyar Karenge Hum Dono, Is Duniya Se Nahi Darenge Hum Dono
Pyar Hum Karte Hai Chaori Nahi, Milgaye Dil Jora Jori Nahi "


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  #100  
Old 7th January 2017
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CYCLONE4487 CYCLONE4487 is offline
hum bewafa kyun hain? 💔
 
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pahla update lajawab, ye kya prayer ke time behosh ho gayi , are kar bhi kya sakte hain behosh hona tha usse rokh todi naa sakte hain? toh phir tension kyu le rahe ho baache jo bhi socche isme ghabrat kyu lene ka ? ..

sach kahu aapka pahla update padhkar mujhe ehsaas hua ki aap bhi full dhamaal aur college mein full nataunki aage ke update par likhne wali ho...
______________________________
My thread : ''Hum bewafa hargiz na the" : Update no 60 B
"Mumbai Mahanagari" : Update no 37
"Khullam Khulla Pyar Karenge Hum Dono, Is Duniya Se Nahi Darenge Hum Dono
Pyar Hum Karte Hai Chaori Nahi, Milgaye Dil Jora Jori Nahi "


Last edited by CYCLONE4487 : 7th January 2017 at 12:09 AM.

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