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  #21  
Old 15th August 2014
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Behtarin start.
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  #22  
Old 15th August 2014
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Originally Posted by super84 View Post
Ek aur writer badh gaya.

EK reader ghat gaya

Dev bhai
javed bhai reader ke rup me mai hu na
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  #23  
Old 15th August 2014
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Rahasyamayi group Sarfarosh aur uski itni sundar agents ka introduction bahut achhe dhang se aap ne diya hai. Japs bhai ki tarah mai bhi kahunga ki lambi race ke liye bahut hi dhairya se chaliyega. Aur hamen poori ummid hai ki aap story ko bahut achhe dhang se aage badhaayenge.
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  #24  
Old 16th August 2014
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by loveyou71 View Post
< image > for new thread
Nice Start
Thanks for encouragement.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Raj indian View Post
< image > for a new thread bro...< image > ek aur dumdar story padhne milegi...< image > < image >

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raj indian View Post

wow yara < image > what a start...!! < image > wese ek dam jabardast oficer he ye Aparijita singh...ek dum dabang personality with the hope to enjoy all kind of stuff wht heart want....supperb...aur aj ke din apne esa thread start kia is lie < image > a lot< image > ...jay hind...apki story xp ki bulandio ko chume esi asa karta hu.
..sath bana rahuga....

bhai !!

reps added !!


Thora sa confession aur Aparijita ke baare me hint deta hoon !!


Aparijita ko Indian lady James Bond samajh sakte hain jo thori si flirt, bahut jayada intelligent aur diler hai par sabse badh kar hai uska desh ke upar mar mitne ka jalwa. Ab James Bond ki ek khami to sabko pata hain ki mauka milne par sex ka koi mauka nahi chhutata hai.

Mujhe pata nahi ki aapko mere kalam se kitni umeed hai par meri kosis hogi ki aap logo ko padh kar maza aaye !! Kabhi kabhi character build up aur places ke description sayad logo ko bore karen par yakin rakhe ki wo kahani ki jaroorat hogi.


Aapka ek baar phir se dhyanbaad !!

Quote:
Originally Posted by upstation View Post
< image >

Looks like a promising start < image >

< image > Kuch updates ek saath padh ke review deta hun bhai.

< image > < image >

Aap apna kimti waqt nikal kar mere anurodh par yahan aaye ; iske liye main aapke tahe dil se sukraguzaar hoon !!

reps added from my side as a mutual token of appreciation

Ek update kal daaluna aur phir agla 23-24 August ko.


Umeed karta hoon ki kal ke update ke baad aap kuchh review de payenge.

Bhai , yeh samjah kar comment karna ki banda abhi naya naya namazi bana hai ; isliye kahi atirek bhi ho sakta hai.
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[My story] Sarfarosh
पोंछ कर अश्क़ अपनी आँखों से, मुस्कुराओ तो कोई बात बने ! सर झुकाने से कुछ नहीं होगा, सर उठाओ तो कोई बात बने !!
भेदभाव अपने दिल से, साफ़ कर सके| दोस्तों से भूल हो तो, माफ़ कर सकें|| हम को मन की शक्ति देना, मन विजय करें| दूसरों की जय से पहले, खुद को जय करें ||
खुसरो दरिया प्रेम का, उल्टी वा की धार। जो उतरा सो डूब गया, जो डूबा सो पार।। A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. ~ Lincoln

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  #25  
Old 16th August 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by komaalrani View Post
Azzadi ke din ka sabse bada uphaar



XOSSIP ki

Na bhuto na bahvishyat

abatak ki sabsse jaandaar shaandar kahani shuru ho gayi



Aapne itni tarif kar di hain ki jab main logo ki umeed par khara nahi utarunga to wo mere sath aapko bhi gaaliya denge.

Main thora khushfaham to hoon par itna bhi nahi....

Meri imaandar kosis hogi ki main aap dosto ka maan rakh saku !!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Dangerousking View Post
Thanks dear !!



Kas thora padh kar kuchh comment bhi kar dete
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[My story] Sarfarosh
पोंछ कर अश्क़ अपनी आँखों से, मुस्कुराओ तो कोई बात बने ! सर झुकाने से कुछ नहीं होगा, सर उठाओ तो कोई बात बने !!
भेदभाव अपने दिल से, साफ़ कर सके| दोस्तों से भूल हो तो, माफ़ कर सकें|| हम को मन की शक्ति देना, मन विजय करें| दूसरों की जय से पहले, खुद को जय करें ||
खुसरो दरिया प्रेम का, उल्टी वा की धार। जो उतरा सो डूब गया, जो डूबा सो पार।। A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. ~ Lincoln

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  #26  
Old 16th August 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxxdev View Post
Thanks for encouragement.



Thanks bro with

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  #27  
Old 16th August 2014
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Quote:
bhai!!
reps added !!
Thora sa confession aur Aparijita ke baare me hint deta hoon !!
Aparijita ko Indian lady James Bond samajh sakte hain jo thori si flirt, bahut jayada intelligent aur diler hai par sabse badh kar hai uska desh ke upar mar mitne ka jalwa. Ab James Bond ki ek khami to sabko pata hain ki mauka milne par sex ka koi mauka nahi chhutata hai.
Mujhe pata nahi ki aapko mere kalam se kitni umeed hai par meri kosis hogi ki aap logo ko padh kar maza aaye !! Kabhi kabhi character build up aur places ke description sayad logo ko bore karen par yakin rakhe ki wo kahani ki jaroorat hogi.
Aapka ek baar phir se dhyanbaad !
tab to yara bada maja ayega... wese ye apane badia socha Lady james bond wo bhi india se...yahooo....update ka intezar he...
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  #28  
Old 16th August 2014
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xxxdev xxxdev is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by japs View Post
nice start.looks like this story is on a large canvas. bikhrne mat dena.

repped



Thanks !! Aap yaha apna kimti waqt nikal kar aayen !!

Meri puri kosis hogi ki kahani ko bikharne naa doon !! Agar kahi bahtaku to please guide karna !!


Ek raaj ki baat batata hoon !! Ek character baad me introduce hoga jiska naam aapke upar rakha hai . aapke user_id ke name ke reason se uska naam uthaya hai ; iske alawa baaki sab uss character me positive hai.

Aap chinta mat karu wo character aapke naam ko kharab nahi karega !!



Quote:
Originally Posted by super84 View Post
Ek aur writer badh gaya. < image >

EK reader ghat gaya < image >

< image > Dev bhai < image >

Reader nahi ghatega , Javed bhai !! Acchi kahaniya agar nahi padhunga to likhunga kaise .

Aapne jo Ibne safi sahab ke novels ko Urdu se Hinglish me translate karne ka jo prayas suru kiya hai; uski jitni bhi tarif ki jaayen kam hai.

Moti mil raha hoo aur main patthar jama karun ; ab itna bhi mai murkh nahi hoon.


Quote:
Originally Posted by super84 View Post
Rahasyamayi group Sarfarosh aur uski itni sundar agents ka introduction bahut achhe dhang se aap ne diya hai. Japs bhai ki tarah mai bhi kahunga ki lambi race ke liye bahut hi dhairya se chaliyega. Aur hamen poori ummid hai ki aap story ko bahut achhe dhang se aage badhaayenge.
Imandarana kosis rahegi, javed bhai . Issi story me litti bhi milegi .
Aapko to litti ka sawad pasand hoga !!

Quote:
Originally Posted by prem sagar View Post
19018+25 < image > dev bhai ...badhaai kabool kare nayi kahani ke liye ... aap is sarfarosh ko apni kaabiliyat se ek shandaar kahani ka roop denge aisa mera yakeen hai. Pathak jan ise saalo saal tak naho bhool payenge. Meri shubh kaamnaaye aapke saath hai ...

Premu bhai !!

Lagta hain ki aap log mujhe chane ki jhaad par chadha kar ek writer bana hi denge. Jab bhi aapko fursat mile to yaha aaya kijeye.

repped
bhai
______________________________
[My story] Sarfarosh
पोंछ कर अश्क़ अपनी आँखों से, मुस्कुराओ तो कोई बात बने ! सर झुकाने से कुछ नहीं होगा, सर उठाओ तो कोई बात बने !!
भेदभाव अपने दिल से, साफ़ कर सके| दोस्तों से भूल हो तो, माफ़ कर सकें|| हम को मन की शक्ति देना, मन विजय करें| दूसरों की जय से पहले, खुद को जय करें ||
खुसरो दरिया प्रेम का, उल्टी वा की धार। जो उतरा सो डूब गया, जो डूबा सो पार।। A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. ~ Lincoln

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  #29  
Old 16th August 2014
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for update, aur waqt mile to humari story bhi padh lhjie
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  #30  
Old 16th August 2014
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