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  #11  
Old 21st July 2016
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gud but update vda dvo
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  #12  
Old 21st July 2016
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Update 2
Jad balbir ne Manjot nu dekha ta dekh da hi reh gaya ki roop c usda akhna usdia motia motia. Lal suhe bull te thodi te kala til usde roop nu hor v nikhar riha c. Usde paya lal rang da suit Jo k poora tight c. Suit tight hon karke us vicho usde mume bahar nu nikle pae c. Jad balbir di nigha hor thale pai ta usdi bahar nikli bund nu dekh k balbir hor v excited ho gaya. Usnu asse passe kuj v ni dikh riha c.usde kana vich phir to manjot di awaz aai k balbir bus kado aunai aa. Te balbir ne ik dum hadbda k kikha k 9vaje. Balbir hale v soch riha c k eh kam di moort kon va te usnu kis tra jandi va. Duje passe Manjot de gharwala minder har mahine Manjot nu paise bej da jis nu o bank cho kadoan lai sher jandi c ja phir bank di copy te entry pawon jandi c. Akihir nu bus aa gai te manjot bus vich chad gai te babir bus nu dekh da riha te soch riha c k eh usda nam kis tra jandi aa
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  #13  
Old 21st July 2016
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Dosto main first time story likh riha va meri writing skills reet mam and kavita mam vang vadia ta nahi but I Will try to give my best
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  #14  
Old 21st July 2016
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Next update will be long
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  #15  
Old 21st July 2016
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Good starting

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  #16  
Old 22nd July 2016
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22 ehda hi ghaint likhi chal te khadde krayi chal..

Congrts 4 nw story
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  #17  
Old 22nd July 2016
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Skills tuhde vadia lgde rhe ne bus har cheez nu full describe krde hoye likhde chalo te try to give big update...keep it up
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  #18  
Old 22nd July 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sexy Reet View Post
Skills tuhde vadia lgde rhe ne bus har cheez nu full describe krde hoye likhde chalo te try to give big update...keep it up
Thanks mam it is my first story so main try karda rahoga har var improve Karan di
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  #19  
Old 22nd July 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LUNDERGHODA View Post
22 ehda hi ghaint likhi chal te khadde krayi chal..

Congrts 4 nw story
Thanks 22 honsla vaduan lai
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  #20  
Old 22nd July 2016
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Overall wadia likh rea bai bss update waddi deya kr
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