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  #21  
Old 8th October 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashanky awasthi View Post
plot accha hai.....story begins with secret......nice
chalo aage dekhte hh kya hota h
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Originally Posted by RCA013 View Post


For new thread...
And best of luck ....
For both stories.....

thanx bro...keep support me always...app ke comments bahut jaruri hai so comments

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  #22  
Old 8th October 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RCA013 View Post
Congratulations Bhai ....

Mene xossip pe kai kahaniya padhi hai ....aaj tak aur usme se bahot si incest
Hi thi...
Lekin jab aaj tumahri kahani padhi to Sach me mere Bhai dil se Keh Raha Hu ke aisi soch aur writing
Sayad hi kisi ginechune writers ne likhi hai ...

Aur tumahri kahani me vo sab hai Jo ek reader ko chahiye...

Gum , khusi,pyar,nafart,gussa ,dosti.... Sab kuchh ek dum perfect hai....

Bahot sare writer hai jinke dimag me bahot sare ideas hotel hai...
Lekin vo sayad apni story me thik se samja nahi pate ....but tumahri story me
Sare emotions hai... Aur plot to Bhai Kya kahu I think I have no words ....

Mujhe pata hai ki kahani ka plot to bahot writers soch Lete hai par kuchh hi use story me tabdil Kar pate hai aur tumne ek professional writer ki tarah story likhi hai...

And I really really appreciate ur hard work .....
Dude ur story is awesome....

Both story's are beyond awesomeness.....and really enjoyable...dude

Aur ek bat kehna chahunga Mene 7 ya 8 mahine pehle ek story padhi thi " MEIN MERA GAUV AUR MERI FAMILY".
Us story ko padhne ke bad Mene xossip pe bahot si stories read ki hai based on romance and incest and adultery+ thrillers ....aaur fir Bhi yahi story mujhe sabse jayda achhi lagi thi ....

BUT Tumahri story padhne ke bad me Keh skta Hu ke ab tumahri story( tu Mera pyar.... Tu Meri jindgi...) mujhe utni hi pasand ayi hai....
Me chahunga ki tumahri story ko aur Bhi success mile cause I really think that ur work is superior .....

And best of luck bro....

Ur both stories are great and plot is perfect ...so keep going....
thank you so much my friend....aur acha laga aap ko meri story itni pasa d aayi...mai puri khosis karo ga ke mai aap ko hamesa khush rakho aur entertainment karta rahi......bas aap sath bane rahe

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  #23  
Old 8th October 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scaredcat View Post
after 2 more uodate could leave review in here.unless can't do that.
dost aap ache reader hai so aap iss story mai bane rahe aur aap jab acha ya bura tab comment karte rahe mujhe aap ka saath chahiye......so i hope aap ko yeh story achi lage aap ka pichli story mai acha saath de rahw hai

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  #24  
Old 8th October 2016
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update 02


Raja aur pari dono soye huye the....raat ki chandni subh ki lali me chip jati hai....subh ki lali kidhkiyo se gujar ke raja aur pari ke chehre par padti hai....pari sujar ki kirne apne chehre par padne se ek choti bachi ki tarh apna chehra raja ki chahti me chupa leti hai par raja ki neend suraj ki kirno aur raat ke hangover ke karan khul jati hai....raja ke sar me thoda dard hota hai...aur chest par bhi thoda bajan mehsus hota hai...jab raja apni aakhe kholta hai toh raja ki chahti par sar rakh pari so rahi thi iss samme uske chehre par pyari si muskan thi..ek bachi ki tarh raja ki chahti me apna muh chupa ke soye rahi thi... iss samme koi bhi pari ko dekhta toh usse uss par bahut pyar aata toh raja kaise bach paata raja ko bhi pari par pyar aaya aur uska mann kiya abhi apni bhaho me bhar le...par sayad wo chehra...wo dard fir raja ke sammne aa gya aur na chahte bhi raja ki aakho me aasu aur gussa utar aaya aur raja ne gusse me pari ko uthya....uss pagli ki bhi kya galati wo thi hi aisi ke pari ki harkat par pyar hi bas pyar aaye...masum si gudiya thi umar badh gyi thi par uski masumyat aur bachpana abhi baki tha..wo pagli raja ke gusse se utne ke baad bhi pari ek pyari si smile aur angdayi lete huye uth jati hai

Pari:-good morning raja....ab kaise ho...sar dard toh nhi ho raha
Raja:-(gussa se) tumhe kitni bar kaha maine ke maat aaya karo yaha toh kyo aa jati ho
Pari:-raja raat ki utri nhi kya abhi tak
Raja:-jao yaha se tum apne ghar aur bahut jaruri kam ho toh hi aaya karo
pari:-kyo kaate lage huye hai tumhe jo mujhe chub jaye gye
Raja:-bewkuf ladki kaate nhi aag lagi huyi hai dil me jal jao gyi maat aaya karo pass.....dard ke aag se nhi kehlte samjhi
Pari:-(gale laga kar) mujhe har aag har dard manjoor ho jo tum se mile gyi
Raja:-bas bahut hua pari jao yaha se
Pari:-kaha jao tum hi toh apne ho mere
Raja:-maine aisa kabhi kaha ke tum meri hai ya maine apna mana hai tujhe....har waqt gussa hi toh karta hu fir kyo aati ho pas....kyo aati ho jalil hone
Pari:-(muskurate huye) jab tum gussa bhi karte ho toh usme bhi tumhra pyar chupa hota hai
Raja:-tum pagal ho bilkul pagal
Pari:-ha oh toh hu...kar do na sahi mujhe tum apne pyar se

(Raja kuch nhi bolta kya bolta uss se jab bhi gussa karta tha uss par toh pari apni pyar bhari baato se raja ka gussa khatam kar deti thi....par raja ko pari ka aise khyal rakhna kisi ki yaad dilta tha aakir kon thi wo yeh toh raja hi janta tha)

Raja:-(mann me) 4 saal ho gye usse bhulte huye kyo nhi chli jati uski yaade mujhe chhod jaise wo chli gyi wo toh has kar chli gyi...aaj bhi uska sadi ke mandap me muskurta chehra mere dil ko chali kar deta hai...chhodo yar wo bewafa nikle toh ab main kya karo

(Raja apne khyalo me tha ke pari raja ke samne aa gyi haath me galss tha)

Pari:-yeh kya raja tum abhi tak fresh nhi huye chlo fresh ho kar aao aur yeh lemon pani pee lo tumhra sar halka ho jaye ga
Raja:-(tang aa kar) yar kya ho tum main kabhi samjh nhi paya tumhe inn 2 saalo me
Pari:-tum dimag se samjhne ki khosis karte ho kabhi dil se samjhne ki khosis karna sab samjh jao gye mere bare me

(Raja ki aakho se aasu girne lage anjane me hi sahi har koi uske purane zakhmo ko hara kar deta tha aakir kon sa zakhm tha jo har bar hare hone par aasu la deta tha raja ki aakho me)
(Par raja kisi tarh aasu chipa apne room me jakar fresh ho jata hai.besak raja ne chipane ki khosis ki par pari se chipa na paya....pari ko bhi laga ke usne galt bol diya anjane me hi kyo nhi...thodi der baad raja room se aata hai par pari phone par kisi se baat kar rahi thi aur wo phone raja ka tha raja uske pas aata hai par kuch bolta nhi pari baat karne ke baad phone raja ko deti hai raja jab number dekhta hai toh wo office ka number tha raja pari ki tarf dekhta hai)

Pari:-sry raja maine anajne me hi sahi par tumhre dil ko dukha diya mujhe maaf kar do na..tum mujh par gussa kar lo hass kar bardast kar lugi par aise udas na raha karo
Raja:-sorry pari galti meri bhi hai me har bar apne zakhmo ke karan tum par gussa kar deta hu
Pari:-jo apne hote hai unn par hi toh hum gusaa hote hai...aur tum mujhe apna maante ho
Raja:-pari maat kaha karo baar baar apna....mujhe apnepan se dar lagta hai
Pari:-(baat badlte huye) raja aaj tum office nhi ja rahe maine office me phone kar diya hai
Raja:-aur me jaan sakta hu kyo
Pari:-(haste huye) nhi
Raja:-fir main ja raha hu
Pari:-okk sry aaj tum mere saath mere college ja rahe ho..aaj college me party hai
Raja:-tumhe paata hai main kabhi party me nhi jata yaha tak ki office ki party me bhi nhi
Pari:-mujhe nhi kuch sunna tum ja rahe ho...aur tum ekle nhi ja rahe ho aur bhi aaye gye log aur mere toh tum hi ho na aur ha agar tumne na kaha toh main bhi nhi jao gyi aur mera bahut man hai jane ka
Raja:-chlo acha hai tum college nhi ja rahi tum apne ghar jakar aram karo main office jata hu

(Itna bol raja uth kar apne room me chla jata hai....thodi der me raja office uniform me bhar aata tab tak pari ne omlet aur juice bana diya tha...raja bina kuch bole breakfast karta hai...pari ka hasta hua chehra murjha gya tha...par raja ignore kar raha tha...raja jaldi se breakfast karke bhar chla jata hai pari bas raja ko ummed aur bebas bhari najro se dekhti hai ke wo ruk jaye par raja nhi rukta aur gadi le nikal jata hai pari waha se apne ghar chli jati hai aur bed par let jati hai wo breakfast bhi nhi karti)

Last edited by xpchodu : 11th October 2016 at 08:18 AM. Reason: words change

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  #25  
Old 8th October 2016
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heartless king heartless king is offline
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for new story.....
update is very good....
raja ke sath kya hua h jo wo itna peeta h..
pari raja se pyar krti h lkin uske oast k bare me ni janti...
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  #26  
Old 8th October 2016
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second update is nice...
raja q pari ko dur krna chahta h...
bechari pari ko college bhi ni leke gya..
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  #27  
Old 8th October 2016
ashanky awasthi ashanky awasthi is offline
 
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jab kavi kisi se dhoka milta hh to sab vaise hi nazar aane lagte hai DHOKEBAAZ...

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  #28  
Old 8th October 2016
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mubarakiyan for new story bhai....
aap ke 2 update paden hai....
bahot auche story hai ...

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  #29  
Old 8th October 2016
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RCA013 is beginning to get noticed
Dashing update bro .....
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  #30  
Old 8th October 2016
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bahut khub
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