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  #31  
Old 10th July 2017
kavitakhullar kavitakhullar is offline
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SPOOOKY ...
WHO IS THIS MAN ... OH WELL NOT A MAN I GUESS
Just wait sabh raj apney aap khukbgey

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  #32  
Old 10th July 2017
kavitakhullar kavitakhullar is offline
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so nice ji.... bohat vadia ada di story bohat pasand aa menu.... i like it
Thanks hope u wl enjoy future update too

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  #33  
Old 10th July 2017
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3rd update of story

apney goddea tey hath mardi cheekh payi kanchan sah tan ukhad k usdi jan e kadan lagey ..eh ki... ghabryi paseeno pasini hoyi apney mathey tey aye passiney nu punjdi edar udar vekhan lagi . achanak e jidan hawa vich gyab hoyea oh ... hichki dey nal nal jan b nikal chali c kanchan di
"hellow .." achanak usnu apney kanna ch mud usdi awaz sunayi diti jad gardan ghuma k vekhea ek dum kamb k khadi ho gayi usdey nal e sofey tey aa beitha c oh...
"kaun o tusi .."jan pran suk gaye kanchan dey ...usnu apney kol aa beithey vekh
"pehchanea nai .. kal b milia c tuhanu police nakey tey ..."muskuranda hoyea o banda bolea
"ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... "hauka bharea sah lay apni hik tey hath rakh dari hoyi kanchan us wal vekhan lagi ...haan haan ohi c oh jehra rat nakey tey .............
"pehchan lya "muskurnada hoyea o munda dar nal thar thar kambdi kanchan dey samney aa khada hunda bolea
"haan..par "ghabrayi hoyi kanchan kamrey ch edar udar vekhdi boli"par tusi tan hospital ch ventilator tey ho fer ethey kidan .."
"ohhhhh.."muskuranda hoyea o munda kanchan dean akhan ch vekhda bolea"mere ton daro na ..."
"nai nai mein dar nai rahi bas menu eh samaj nai aa rahi tuhadi conditon eni critical tey tusi hospital ch ventilator tey fer tusi ethey kidan.." haulsa kardi kanchan boli jan nikaldi ja rahi c usdi pura jism paseeney nal bhijea dar nal kamb riha c
"hospital ch tan meri dead body payi a .. jis ch mera ek ada sah atakea hoyea hai jis nu tusi bachaan di kosis kar rahey o ..asal ch meri jan tan udon e nikal gayi c kal jad mein tour ton wapas aa ghar pujea tey vekhea meri vohti kisi hor dean wahan ch ..." ek dum serious hunda o munda kanchan wal vekhda bolea
"mein mein samji nai .." hor ghabra gayi kanchan
"samaj tan mein b nai sakea apni vohti nu.. ena pyar kardi a menu mere bachpan da pyar mera sab kuj hai oh.. par kisi hor dean wahan ch kyoun " aram nal mud sofey tey beithda o munda bolea "bas sat dil tey lagi .. "
"ethey kyoun tusi .." usdi gal sun samaj kuch nai ayi kanchan nu fer b hausla kar khadi khadi apni kambdi awaz ch usney puchea
"hun mein azad haan kadi b kitey b ja sakda haan .."muskuranda hoyea o munda bolea "kal tuhadi dhee dey school ch b gya usnu mein e dasea c k tusi mere ilaaz ch busy o hospital ch es layi nai aa sakey function ch.."
apni dhee barey sun andar tak kamb gayi ..usdey kanna ch kal rat niti dey kahey shabd gunjan lagey jad usney keha c k "ek uncle ney aa k dasea c k tusi usdey ilaaz ch busy o " oh no" apney sar nu jhatka dey us wal gaur nal vekhdi hoyi kanchan dey chehrey da rang fika pay gya
"vohat pyar bachi hai .. park ch gayi hai na khedan layi " kachan wal vekhda hoyea o bolea
"haan haan nai nai .." samaj nai ayi kanchan nu ki dasey usnu niti bareyy ..
"tuhanu keha ghabrayo na .." o munda fer muskuranda hoyea bolea" mein udon tak tuhanu nuksaan nahi pujayouga jado tak tusi mera nuksaan nahi karogey.."
"unha police walea nu tusi ..." dar nal kambdi hoyi kanchan di jan nikal gayi eh puchdey hoye
"haan mein marea tey hor pta nai kiney katal karney ney.. kuch apneya dey tey kuch begaineya dey "ek dum serious ho o munda bolea
dar k 3/4 kadam pichey ho gayi kanchan jad usney us mundey dean akhan ch vekhea ek dum khoon utar ayea c usdean akhan ch laal hoyean akhan ch enj lag riha c jiven akhan vichon hanju nahi khoon dey tipkey nikal dig rahey hon chehra ek dum kathor tey bhiynak hon lga usda ...
"mein mein.. es ch tuhadi ki .. " apney sukey kamdey bullan nal kanchan ney puchea
"bas ena e "ek dum kadakdi uchi awaz kamrey ch gunj uthi "jad tak mein apna kam nahi muka lenda tusi menu dead declare nai karna "
"matlab.." ghabrayi hoyi kanchan di himmat nahi ho rahi c hun us wal vekhan di
"ajay kuch nai samja sakda bas ena yaad rakheo j mein tuhadey layi tin katal kar sakda haan tey apney layi pta nai kiney katal kar sakda .. es layi chup chap ohi karna aj ton bad jo mein kahanga " ek dhamki bharea lehja c usdi awaz ch
"ji ji mein samaj gayi .."samaj tan kuch nai ayi kanchan nu par fer b boli
"acha mein chalda hun ..anju niti nu park ton wapas lay k aa rahi hai " jhatkey nal uth khada hunda o munda bolea "es barey kisi nal gal nai karni .."
"ji ji..."kamdi awaz ch kanchan boli agley e pal o munda usdey kamrey ton gayab ho gya .. ghabrayi hoyi o akhan fad fad kamrey ch edar udar labhan lagi
"ki hoyea didi tusi kamb kyoun rahey o " kol aa khadi ho anju dar nal kambdi passeney nal bhiji hoyi kanchan wal vekhdi boli
"kuch kuch kuch nai .."apney munh tey aye passney nu punjdi hoyi kanchan apni dhee niti nu ghut k jaffi pandi boli
"lagda koi bura supna vekhea .." apneey aap e andaza landi anju boli...
"haannnnnnnn"ghabrayi hoyi kanchan saho sahi hoyi anju wal vekhdi boli..........
"tusi beitho mein pani lay k ayi "paseeney nal bhiji tey ukhadey ukhadey sahan nal kambdi kanchan nu sofey tey beithandi anju rasoi wal bhaj k jandi boli...............

to b continue ....



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  #34  
Old 10th July 2017
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thanks for update ...

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  #35  
Old 10th July 2017
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update review....

Ki kaha... haze kuch kehan di halat nai... bahut hi nice update c...

kanchan... da pura sahrir .. usde hav-bhav .. usde chehre de a rehe dar de bhav... sab kuch bahut bariki nal likhaya gya hai...

lekin oh munda kon hai... koi Atma da chakar tain nai....

vaise ik gal tain samaz a gai... ke agge jake bahut maza ayuga... story read karan vich...


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  #36  
Old 10th July 2017
fuditerifruitvargi fuditerifruitvargi is offline
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No words to describe how i felt after reading this story..eh teh rajneeti toh vi jiyaada sohni aa..bahut sohna theme aa, bahut sohni story lag rahi aa..flow vi poori aa..i guess its going to be one of the best thriller..thanks for starting such a awesome story
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  #37  
Old 10th July 2017
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superb updatee...

oss bnde de dukh nu sun k sachi akhan nam ho gyin....jihda pyar ohde na bewafayi krdaa ohnu puchoo Ohde dil te ki beetdi aa...sachi oss bnde di ik line dil te lgg gyii "MAIN MAAR TA OSE DIN GEYA C JDO APNE PYAR NU KISE HOR DIYAN BAAHAN WICH DEKHYA C".. eh alfaaz oh pure v ni kr skeyaa ad wichkaar e chup ho gyaa.....

kanchn da drr tuc bht bareeki nl explain kitaa...ohde haav bhav bht e shone treeke nl dikhaye gye nee.....

jis bnde de knchn piche katal kite nee eh bnda kon aa.. ehdi background ki aa.. eh kon aa kitho aaya. ehde pyar nl ki ki hoyaa.. kive oh daagdaar hoyaa...

ehde pyar di story v dikheyoo..

main hmesha sochda c vyi tuc ik imostional story likhoo.. thnkjuu oh wish puri krn lyiiiii...hje ta akhan e nmm hoyinn. agge ja k okka ruwaogee tuc sbb nuu.....

hje ta pta ni ess story ch hor kine k raaz nee....

ik glta pkki aa agge agge jatke bht nee jo sade sbb de hosh udaun wale nee...

keep writingggg......

Last edited by officialgillsaab : 10th July 2017 at 07:28 PM.

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  #38  
Old 10th July 2017
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Wow superb update
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Old 10th July 2017
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superb

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  #40  
Old 11th July 2017
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superb
Thanks

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