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Old 11th July 2017
kavitakhullar kavitakhullar is offline
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Originally Posted by PawandeepSinghSandhu View Post
Wow superb update
Thanks

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Originally Posted by officialgillsaab View Post
superb updatee...

oss bnde de dukh nu sun k sachi akhan nam ho gyin....jihda pyar ohde na bewafayi krdaa ohnu puchoo Ohde dil te ki beetdi aa...sachi oss bnde di ik line dil te lgg gyii "MAIN MAAR TA OSE DIN GEYA C JDO APNE PYAR NU KISE HOR DIYAN BAAHAN WICH DEKHYA C".. eh alfaaz oh pure v ni kr skeyaa ad wichkaar e chup ho gyaa.....

kanchn da drr tuc bht bareeki nl explain kitaa...ohde haav bhav bht e shone treeke nl dikhaye gye nee.....

jis bnde de knchn piche katal kite nee eh bnda kon aa.. ehdi background ki aa.. eh kon aa kitho aaya. ehde pyar nl ki ki hoyaa.. kive oh daagdaar hoyaa...

ehde pyar di story v dikheyoo..

main hmesha sochda c vyi tuc ik imostional story likhoo.. thnkjuu oh wish puri krn lyiiiii...hje ta akhan e nmm hoyinn. agge ja k okka ruwaogee tuc sbb nuu.....

hje ta pta ni ess story ch hor kine k raaz nee....

ik glta pkki aa agge agge jatke bht nee jo sade sbb de hosh udaun wale nee...

keep writingggg......
Thanks kosis kar rahi haan syory ch thrill dey nal nal emotions love romace tey exictment nu proper way ch describe kran di.
Hope u wl like n love future updates

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Old 11th July 2017
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Originally Posted by fuditerifruitvargi View Post
No words to describe how i felt after reading this story..eh teh rajneeti toh vi jiyaada sohni aa..bahut sohna theme aa, bahut sohni story lag rahi aa..flow vi poori aa..i guess its going to be one of the best thriller..thanks for starting such a awesome story
I wll try to make it best thriller n exictment level b maintain rakhan di puri kosis karungi. Hope u wl like future updatea thanks

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Old 11th July 2017
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Originally Posted by Lover of darkness View Post
update review....

Ki kaha... haze kuch kehan di halat nai... bahut hi nice update c...

kanchan... da pura sahrir .. usde hav-bhav .. usde chehre de a rehe dar de bhav... sab kuch bahut bariki nal likhaya gya hai...

lekin oh munda kon hai... koi Atma da chakar tain nai....

vaise ik gal tain samaz a gai... ke agge jake bahut maza ayuga... story read karan vich...

Meri hamesha kosis hundi a scene nu proper detail ch describe kran di. Hope u wl lije next updatea next update soon thanka

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4th update of story

"ahhhhhhh ueeeeeeee maa chad dey menu "cheekhdi siskdi anju layi har pal aukha hunda ja riha c par usda gharwala shankar tan nashey ch choor apney swad ch dubea pagalan wang usdi bund ch lun andar bahar karda mudhi kiti hoyi anju dey sar tey hath rakh dabanda hoyea kisi hor e duniya ch pujea hoyea c anju di har siski har cheekh usdey swad nu dunga kardi ja rahi c
"chak upar nu apni.. nakhrey kari jandi a "apna lun usdi bund ch gol gol ghumada shankar usdey modey tey dandi wad da bolea
"hye mar gayi nai chuk hundi vey..ufff kad lay " cheekh mar rondi hoyi anju dey hanjua nal sarhana pura bhij chukea c chidi wang dabea hoyea c shankar usnu hilan b nai dey riha c bas tika tika k gassey marda usda bura hall karda ja riha c
"edan kidan kad lawan bhainchod..teri gadwi wargi bund nu jad tak mar nai lenda .swad nai anda sala " lambey lambey sah lenda shankar usdey chittad tey jor di thappad marda bolea "bund e teri tight a fudi tan pta nai kis kis ton chudwa k khuli karwa layi a .."
"kisi ton nai chudwayi ahhhhhh na tang kar agey pa lay .."siskdi rondi hoyi anju layi apni bund ch bajdey gasseya nu sehna aukha hunda ja riha c har gassa usda hauka kadwa dinda eh takreebn roz da e kam c shankar da usnu nangi kar bed tey sut usdi bund ch lun pa usdean cheekhan kadwana pta nai ki swad milda c usnu
"chup kar bhainchod ...gharon bahar ja k kam kardi a pta nai kiney yar bnaye honey ney "pura lun bahar kad gassa marda shankar usdi gardan nu dbanda hoyea bolea
"hye mein mar gayi aieeeeeeeeeeeeeee maa bacha lay es raksahk ton " cheekdi hoyi anju layi apna sar b sarhaney tey patkna auka ho gya c eni jor di shankar ney usdi gardan picheo ghuti hoyi c
"lun lay k b koi marea bhain dea lodiea tun tan pta nai kiney laye honey ney " bina anju dey dard tey cheekh di parwah kitey shankar tika tika usdi bund ch gassey marda swad lenda bolea
"kyoun tang karda pya apni vohti nu salea " achanak kamrey ch ek kadak uchi awaz gunj uthi
"awaz eni uchi c k shankar tan kamb e uthea anju dey kann b sunn ho gaye us kadakdi awaz nal
"kaun a tun "uchalda hoyea shankar anju nalo vakh hunda cheekh pya jad usney apney bed tey apney kol chaukri maar beithey hoye bandey nu vekhea
"salea kyoun tang karda pya bechari nu .." mud bed tey bethey hoye bandey nu ghurdey hoye puchea
"kaun o kaun o " cheekhda hoyea kambda shankar mudhi payi anju tey us bandey wal vekhda bolea
cheekh tan anju di b nikal gayi es velley apney bed tey kisi anjan bandey nu vekh par kuch pal layi dard muk gya azad ho gayi c shankar di pakad ton ...fta fat chaddar chuk apney nangey jism nu dhakdi hoyi akhan fad fad us wal vekhan lagi
"kanjra apni vohti nu tenu pyar karna b nai anda "hanjua nal bhijeayan anju dean akhan wal vekhdey hoye us bandey ney ghurdey hoye shankar nu puchea
"meri vohti a tenu ki " hausla kar shankar kambda hoyea bolea "tenu badi fikar ho rahi a esdi ki gal es da yar a .."
tadaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkk karkey thappad shankar dey mun tey bja thappad di awaz dey nal nal jhakta b ena tez c k uchal k shankar bed ton ek passey kamrey dey khunjey tey ja digia
"na maro na maro enha nu .."kambdi rondi awaz ch anju di cheekh nikal gayi jad usney shankar nu cheekh k bed ton parey digdey hoye vekhea
"es di tan aj jan kadni a mein "gussey ch anju wal vekhda o banda bolea
na maro "hath jordi hoyi anju minaat kardi boli tey shankar usnu tan koi hosh e nai c akhan agey hanera tey sar edan ghum riha c jiven kisi ney usnu asmaan ton chuk jameen tey sut dita hovey apney gall tey hath rakh kambda hoyea bed tey beithey bandey wal vekhda bolea "kaun o tusi .."
"saleya j aj ton baad sharab piti ja fer es nu tang kita jan kad layouga teri " shankar nu ghurdey hoye bandey ney keha
"nai ji bilkull b nai peenda nai tang karda "hath jor ron e lag pya shankar ...
"hun gal sun meri ...gaur nal shankar wal vekhdey hoye o banda bolea " kal tun "AS enterprises tey daftar jana tey uthey ja us company ch driver di naukri karni a "
"menu naukari kyoun oh..." kambda hoyea hairan hunda shankar ajay b hath jod us bandey wal e vekh riha c
"dayouga naukri tenu AS enterprises da malik amit chawla driver di ..." badey aram nal shankar wal vekhda hoyea o banda bolea "bas kal ton bad tun usdi har harkat tey najar rakhni a kis nu milda a tey kaun kaun usnu milda a .."
"ji ji "hath jod khada hon di kosis karda shankar bolea par agley e pal o beh gya jad usnu ehsaas hoyea o nanga a
"kaun o tusi veer ji " kambdi dardi awaz ch bed tey ek passey ekethi hoyi anju us bandey wal vekhdi boli
"haan tun .. aj ton bad tun hamesha dr. kanchan dey ghar e rehna din rat usdi har harkat har movement tey najar rakhni a ...kis nu mildi a tey ki kardi a "anju wal vekhda o banda bolea
"ji ji .."akhan fad fad us bandey wal vekhdi anju haan ch sar hilandi boli
par tusi ho kaun .." shankar guar nal us bandey nu pehchanan di kosis karda bolea
"kadi bhoot vekhea " shankar wal vekhda o banda bolea
"nai nai.."ghabra k hairan hunda shankar kambdi awaz ch bolea
"lay fer vekh lay .."uchi awaz ch hasda hoyea banda bolea tey aggley e pal usdi gardan lambi ho shankar dey kol puj gayi usdean akhan ch vekhda hoyea bolea "jo tenu kam keha dhiyan nal karin.."
"aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"kamrey ch eko velley anju dey nal nal shankar di b cheekh gunj uthi
"acha mein chalda "mud apni lambi hoyi gardan nu eketha karda o banda anju tey shankar wal vekhda bolea "j hun mud k es nu tang kita tan saleya puttha tang dayoun tenu .."
"nai nai ji bilkul b nai " hath jor khujey lga shankar us bandey wal vekhda apney sukey bullan tey jeev ferda bolea eko e jhatkey ch usdi sharab utar diti c usney ...
jidan hwa dey bulley wang o band uthey aya c udan e hwa dey bulley wang uthon gyab ho gya...par anju dey nal nal kamdey hoye shankar da bura haal c jidan thori der pehlan us bandey da sar usdey kol aa usdean akhan ch akhan pa dhamkiea dey riha c............. jan kad k lay gya c usdi .. kambda hoyea darda hoyea khunjey nal lga usdi himmat nai c uth k bed wal aan di ... nal nal usdey kanna ch anju dey thori der pehlan kahey hoye shabd b yaad aa rahey c jad usney us bandey nu minntan kardey hoye keha c "na maro na maro enha nu .. ek bar apnian akhan chuk bed tey beithi anju wal vekhea ... us wang e dar nal kambdi hoyi ro rahi c o b........ akhan usdean anju nu edan rondi vekh namm hon lagea jad k es ton pehlan usnu hamesha swad anda c jad anju usdey tahlley payi cheekhan mardi rondi hoyi usdean minntaan kardi hundi c ............purey kamrey ch sannatta c ... vich vich usnu anju dean siskian sunayi dey rehean c ..........


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  #46  
Old 11th July 2017
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thanks for update kavita ji...

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update review...

Unbalievable writing...

erotic sence bare tain kuj bolna.... me samazda bevkufi hovegi... bahut sohna udate c ...

and shankar te anju da sex .. wah lajwab c.. maza a gya...

suspense use trah bana hoya... par eh evil man hai kon... and esne shankar nu us jagah nokri kyu karan layi keha... shyad eh ohi Amit chawla tain nai... jisne usdi wife nal milke .. usnu dhoka dita ...

and .. dr.kanchan hi kyu... hor v tain shehar vich doctor hege c.. but.. es evil ne .. kanchan nu hi chunya...

shyad agge es raz toh parda uth jave... anju hun... kanchan te har roz nazar rakhegi.. te usda gharwala shankar...amit chawla te... hun ayuga maza...

and.. ik gal bahut sohni c... shankar nu apni galti da ehsas ho gya... aurat hemsha kini v peda kyu na sehndi hove... par jadu gal apne pati te aundi hai... tain.. oh us peda nu chupa muskra kar sath dendi hai... amazing story..


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  #48  
Old 11th July 2017
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ਆਹ........ ਲੰਮੀ ਧੌਣ ਵਾਲਾ ਭੂਤ ਕਿਆ ਸਸਪੈਂਸ ਹੈ ਕਵਿਤਾ ਜੀ ਇੰਜ ਲਗਦਾ ਜਿਵੇਂ ਕਿਸੇ ਫ਼ਿਲਮ ਦੀ ਸ਼ੂਟਿੰਗ ਚੱਲ ਰਹੀ ਹੋਵੇ 1 1 ਸੀਨ ਲੂੰ ਕੰਡੇ ਖੜੇ ਕਰਨ ਵਾਲਾ ਹੈ ਅੱਗੇ ਕੀ ਹੋਊ ਇਹ ਸੋਚ ਕੇ ਹੀ ਡਰ ਲੱਗੀ ਜਾਂਦਾ waiting for more
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  #49  
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superb update ma'am...

bht vdiaa scene create kita tuc...chlo kise ne ta uss wichari diyn cheekan suniynn....oss wichri di cheek v ohni suni jihnu koi dkh ni skdaa..chlo hun ohde shrabi pati nu akal ta aa gyi vyi oh kive ohdiyn cheeka da maza le rha c te ohnu drd ch dkh k ohnu kina swaad aaunda c te aaj ohi shnkr ohnuu rondi nu dkh rhaa koi v kuj v ni bol rhaa... te soch rhaa vyi main kina ehnu tng kita ehnu kine dukh dite prr eh fr v mainu mada ni keh rhii....chlo der nl shii ohnu apni glti da ehsaas ta hoyaa....

bss u di stories di eh khasiyaat aa hrek update ch ik chngi jhi gl sikha jne oo.....hun jive ess update wich v sikha gyee.....aurut chahe jina mrzi dukh she prr jdo koi ohde suhaag te ungl chukda aa ta oh eh brdast ni kr skdii..te sara kuj bhul k bss sbb nu dssdi aa vyi oh mera kina khyal rkhde nee.....beshk ohde oh hasse ch drd chupeya hoya hundaa prr oh eh drd bakhubi lko laindi aa...

hunn dkhde aa hun tuc eh AS entrprises da ki suspence le k aaoge tucc.. te eh amit chawla kon aa..eh kite ohi ta nii jihde vajah toh eh insaan aaj ess mukaam te aa..

te osss bnde ne knchn te nigah rkhn nu kyn kehaa.. ess aadami da v knchn nl.koi purana wair ya rishta houu....

dona piche jasoos lgwatee..jo ehna di pal pal di khabrr oss bnde nu dengee...

lgda hje ta sirf aagaz hoya yudh daa... asli yudh ta hje baki aa....

keep writingggg......

Last edited by officialgillsaab : 11th July 2017 at 09:41 AM.

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.........

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