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  #11  
Old 28th May 2016
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Story purane time ki h aur upar s itni shud Hindi.. wo kya h na aadat Ni h itni pure Hindi words padhne ki bt kahani k hisab s wo hi perfect h ..
Ab story purane time ki h Raja Maharaja k time ki to maybe kch logo ko booring lage ...dusra apne prologue ya kahani k bare m kch bataya Ni h like ki story m kya kya hosakta h , ye story ancient time s modern time aaegi ya sirf ancient time m hi rahegi...
For me ita good start ..bt dont know abt others..
All d best ...i hope u do something abt story prologue ... mostly stories k beginning m Hota h to story k bare m idea mil jata h sabko.. u know first impression ..

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  #12  
Old 28th May 2016
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First update was romantic according to that time ..
Modern time Hota to .......
Waiting for 2nd update , usme aage k bare m Bi idea mil jaega kch

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  #13  
Old 28th May 2016
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Kya kare mitra second update post mobile se type toh kar raha hun par sare words ki khichdi pak ja rai hai second update se twist aani suru ho ja:jamgargaadhadha update tykarnernebaadaad delekarnarna para

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  #14  
Old 28th May 2016
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Koi nii.. take ur time .. story is at initial stage ..
Dhyan s type kriye taki interest bana Rahe sabka ..
All d best

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  #15  
Old 28th May 2016
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update 2


Maharani ke jane k baad maharaj kuch deer wahi rahte hai uske baad wo apne kash se nikal kar raj purohit ki traf nikal parte hai
Ab aaye jante hai ish rajya ki suraksha k bare me
Waise toh maharaj samai samai par swaym iski nirikshan karte hai
Par iski raksha ki jimmewari sena ki 8 tukriyoo kii haii pahlee durgg kii rakshaa teeen tukrii kartee haii harr tukrii kaa ekk senanayak haii jiskoo senapatii hi nirdeshh detaa haii .
Baki 2 Durg p do do tukriya tayanat rahti hai aur har durg ko jadui suraksha ghera se surakshit kiya gaya hai jiska nirakshan rajya ki prashid jadugarni sumaila karti hai .
Bina inki jankari me aaye koi parinda b pravesh naikar sakta.

Mahal ki ttha 8 tukriyoo kaa pradhann khudd senapatii veerbhadraa haii aapnee naamm kii hi trahh surveerr.
Ab jhaie hai sumaila ko jo navyuvti hai aisi jo kisi ka b mann moh le chehra ki sundarta ko dekh kar koi kah hi nai sakta ye khatrnak saktiyo ki swami hai.mahraj ki sabse majbut aur ek trah se sabse kamjor v.tantrik saktiyo ki gayata.
Ye majbut kari kamjor kari isliye hai kyuki inka dill inke bash me hi nai. Ye parosi raja chandrasen ko dillojan se chati hai
Chandrasen nihayat hi krur ,shaktisali ttha tantrik saktiyo ka gyata hai. Chandrasen aur sumaila ne ek hi guru aacharya ramshukal se diksha grahan ki ti.jo ki himalaya ki ghatiyo me rahte hai .vahi par sumaila apna dill de baithi.
Chandrasen ki najar ish rajya par bhut pahle se ti aur maharani ko kisi b kimat par hasil karna chata ta.

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  #16  
Old 28th May 2016
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Lambe post sambhav nai hai teesra update raat me may b 1bajejtakak

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  #17  
Old 28th May 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ng93 View Post
Koi nii.. take ur time .. story is at initial stage ..
Dhyan s type kriye taki interest bana Rahe sabka ..
All d best
Thanks for support bro I will try to give my best
Aur hero k intry me time hai nd naika k b villan ki toh ho chuki bas janna baki hai uske bare me
Abi toh bhut kuch hona hai kai mor aayenge kahani me

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  #18  
Old 28th May 2016
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Villain chandrsen Bi jaadugar h..aur sumaila usse prem krti h , kahi aisa na ho ki wo khud s hi kabi premwas dhoka dete apne raja ko ....

Boss hindi kch jyada Hi achi h aapki.. as I said ki story k hisab s achi h bt kch words h like durrg , senanayak etc agar uske English words ( ) m likh de to samjhne m help hojaegi...hope u understand..
Baki I love my country nd I love my hindi lang kasam s.

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  #19  
Old 28th May 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ng93 View Post
Villain chandrsen Bi jaadugar h..aur sumaila usse prem krti h , kahi aisa na ho ki wo khud s hi kabi premwas dhoka dete apne raja ko ....

Boss hindi kch jyada Hi achi h aapki.. as I said ki story k hisab s achi h bt kch words h like durrg , senanayak etc agar uske English words ( ) m likh de to samjhne m help hojaegi...hope u understand..
Baki I love my country nd I love my hindi lang kasam s.
K friend I will take care of it agli baar se hindi k sath englih b aajiegi
Aur jadatar aaise words mai hindi novels nd literature padhne ka shaukin hone k karan karta hun aur yahi aadat b hai par aapki baat ka jarur dhyan rakhunga

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  #20  
Old 28th May 2016
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Waise aap sahi dosa me soch rai ho kyu ki bina uskke support k toh bhadresen ko hara pana possible hi nai
Waise wo b ye nai chahti par pyar b badi ajib chij hoti kai baar jo aadmi nai chahe wo b karna par jata hai

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