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Old 16th May 2017
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Should one marry if they have no other choice?

Im 29 years old male. Whether consciously or not... I tried to live my life the right way. My life has been performing well in school, then college... to pay back the debt my parents had on my education by getting good grades. Then I started working since 6-7 years now.
I earn well. I dont have any loans and dont have many indulgent habits like drinking or smoking or shopping or cars etc. I enjoy working out and thats the only hobby. Office to home... home to office... thats my life.

I tried online dating apps but except one woman... most women were either fake or had questionable pasts/not upto my liking.

Long story short... I have been involved with this woman now for 1.5 years. Shes good in many ways barring a few. Biggest issue is that physically shes unappealing to me. I do love her in some ways... but its also mostly coz I never had a girlfriend or had a choice.
She is obese, dark skinned with acne n hair and pus filled pimples. There are also many pluses but I certainly dont get butterflies in my stomach when I meet her ocassionally (its long distance even though we live in the same city). I tried to tell her, advise her, suggest her... but she lives in a place where there are no gyms or slimming centers. Plus... she has never been to a gym. She always talks about doing this and that... but shes still the same weight.

I tried breaking up 7 times, but again and again she tried to stick with me. And now I have given up. The last time I broke up was brutal and hoped she didnt come back... but she made a fake ID on the same app and started talking to me as some different girl while I was thinking this is some other interesting girl. And then her magnetism brought me back to her.


I like her. But I have never fallen in love with anyone to be honest. And I am not ga-ga about her.

Should one marry if there is no other choice? Im 29 years old and although I am not eager to get married... but I have no other choice. Everyday I pray to get someone exciting who is also physically appealing but in 29 years it never happened.
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Old 16th May 2017
Amitwithhotwife.83 Amitwithhotwife.83 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by damage_case View Post
Im 29 years old male. Whether consciously or not... I tried to live my life the right way. My life has been performing well in school, then college... to pay back the debt my parents had on my education by getting good grades. Then I started working since 6-7 years now.
I earn well. I dont have any loans and dont have many indulgent habits like drinking or smoking or shopping or cars etc. I enjoy working out and thats the only hobby. Office to home... home to office... thats my life.

I tried online dating apps but except one woman... most women were either fake or had questionable pasts/not upto my liking.

Long story short... I have been involved with this woman now for 1.5 years. Shes good in many ways barring a few. Biggest issue is that physically shes unappealing to me. I do love her in some ways... but its also mostly coz I never had a girlfriend or had a choice.
She is obese, dark skinned with acne n hair and pus filled pimples. There are also many pluses but I certainly dont get butterflies in my stomach when I meet her ocassionally (its long distance even though we live in the same city). I tried to tell her, advise her, suggest her... but she lives in a place where there are no gyms or slimming centers. Plus... she has never been to a gym. She always talks about doing this and that... but shes still the same weight.

I tried breaking up 7 times, but again and again she tried to stick with me. And now I have given up. The last time I broke up was brutal and hoped she didnt come back... but she made a fake ID on the same app and started talking to me as some different girl while I was thinking this is some other interesting girl. And then her magnetism brought me back to her.


I like her. But I have never fallen in love with anyone to be honest. And I am not ga-ga about her.

Should one marry if there is no other choice? Im 29 years old and although I am not eager to get married... but I have no other choice. Everyday I pray to get someone exciting who is also physically appealing but in 29 years it never happened.


Seriously?

Your problems are self created.
You cannot be happy with a wife who isnt sexually appealing. Marriage to such a gurl will be devastating.
Be a man and get rid of that girl. She's the one dragging you back into the shit pool and making you think such pessimistic thoughts.

You are just 29. You earn well. If you want to get married, look up on matrimony websites not dating websites.

In my humble opinion : Marry the girl who gives u an instant boner and enjoy ur great sex life. Make living worthwhile while it lasts. You will find many pretty and interesting girls as marriage candidates. No worries.

Just get rid of this biatch! She's depressed and dragging you into self destructive Oblivion.

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Old 16th May 2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amitwithhotwife.83 View Post
Seriously?

Your problems are self created.
You cannot be happy with a wife who isnt sexually appealing. Marriage to such a gurl will be devastating.
Be a man and get rid of that girl. She's the one dragging you back into the shit pool and making you think such pessimistic thoughts.

You are just 29. You earn well. If you want to get married, look up on matrimony websites not dating websites.

In my humble opinion : Marry the girl who gives u an instant boner and enjoy ur great sex life. Make living worthwhile while it lasts. You will find many pretty and interesting girls as marriage candidates. No worries.

Just get rid of this biatch! She's depressed and dragging you into self destructive Oblivion.
Well actually to be honest I was depressed but have now gotten rid of many demons in my life. She is motivating and fine as far as her personality is concerned. I definitely like many aspects of her lifestyle/ideology and habits.

I just in general feel trapped. Because I love her but want something better... and she isnt letting me go and I dont have the energy left in me to fight anymore. Im 29... I tried dating a few times and chatting with women.... they all have something or the other wrong in them.

Even if I try arranged marriage there will be many issues that wont match Im sure. And these days even arranged marriage comes with bigger headache... no room for second thoughts and confusion coz parents are involved from day 1.
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Old 16th May 2017
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Well OP, I won't preach you and yes, before anyone jumps in and points fingers, I'm going through a disastrous marriage.

That said, I've no gyaan per se. What I want to put in is that appearance and personality do matter, irrespective of what anyone says. And nature and compatibility matters a lot too. You can't make love without the warmth and fucking like an animal is fun only so long. But you can't make love to someone who looks like a transvestite either.

There's something curious about many women I've met. They'd be mustachioed, jhola (satchel) hugging behanji/aunty one day - they fall in love - couple of visits to a half decent beautician and gym - mid to upscale fashion outlets (even better if some woman to guide her) - and bingo, they just metamorphose from larvae to butterfly. Sometimes the changes in appearance are mind blowing, believe me. It's worth a try. I'm not sure if folks here could give you pointers from that perspective. There are a couple of women only Indian forums, and though they will burn you if you sound patronising or anything, they can give tips on how to motivate a woman into grooming.
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Last edited by tobermory : 16th May 2017 at 09:15 PM.

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Old 17th May 2017
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You have asked a similar question here in xossip in Jan 2017:
http://www.desiproject.com/showthread.php?t=1473709
I have also given my reply there. It is post No.22 in that thread.

Now we are in May 2017. About 4 months passed. Is there any change in the situation ?

Last edited by raasug : 17th May 2017 at 12:46 PM.

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Old 17th May 2017
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Old 17th May 2017
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Thanks guys. I have now removed my accounts from dating apps. Dont want to be vulnerable there and get messages from her.

I have blocked her out from all portals and phone apps. If at all she contacts me again I will ask some third party to intervene and help.
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Old 20th May 2017
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Keep a good lawyer ready with expertise in anticipatory bail proceedings...

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Old 20th May 2017
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Keep a good lawyer ready with expertise in anticipatory bail proceedings...
Naa. I trust her enough not to do any such thing.

Besides... I barely met her 5-6 times and its known to both our parents.
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