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  #71  
Old 22nd May 2006
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Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'.'

'Yeah' she replies, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.''

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  #72  
Old 22nd May 2006
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please reply

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  #73  
Old 22nd May 2006
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An Russian man is walking through a bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell him some illegal Viagra for 100 rubles.
'No,not worth it!'
'OK, how about 50 rubles?'
'No, not worth it!'
'OK, 20?'
'No, not worth it!'
'How about 10?'
'No, not worth it!'
'Listen, these pills cost $10 American each. How can you say
they are not worth it?'
'Oh, the pills are worth it, it`s my wife is not worth it.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concern. 'Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for Rs.1000/-,' the clerk says.
'Rs.1000/-?' the woman replies. 'That seems terribly expensive for a frog.'
'Well, this frog is worth it. It's been trained to make love.'
The woman is stunned, but because her husband loves this sort of sex, and because she is not particularly fond of it, she decides the frog might be a good investment. She buys the frog, brings it home, presents it to her husband, and explains its special value.
The husband is sceptical, but promises he'll give the frog a try that night. The woman goes to sleep happily knowing she won't be bothered by her husband that night.
She is suddenly awakened by a clatter coming from the kitchen. She goes downstairs and finds the frog and her husband pulling out pots and pans and poring over cookbooks.
'What are you two doing down here?' she asks.
Her husband responds, 'If I can teach this frog to cook, you're out of here!'

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  #74  
Old 22nd May 2006
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grt man keep it goin
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i am the dude u gotta watch out for

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  #75  
Old 22nd May 2006
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A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole.

All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice."

The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "As I said before, there are no fish under the ice."

The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish. Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"

The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"

"No", the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey area!

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  #76  
Old 22nd May 2006
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A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range.

The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says not bad. Golfpro: "Now hold the club as firm as you hold your wife's breasts". The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says "Excellent!"

Now the woman takes her turn. Her ball goes 30 yards. Golfpro: "Not bad, try holding the club like you hold your husbands dick." She swings and the ball goes 10 yards. Golfpro: "Not bad, but now try taking the club out of your mouth and hit the ball."

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  #77  
Old 22nd May 2006
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A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he stacks the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldn’t because she didn’t have any clothes on.

He replies, “Take my shoe and cover your snatch with it, and go for help!”

She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?"

The clerk replies, "I’m sorry, I think he's too far in."

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  #78  
Old 22nd May 2006
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Wow this stufff is great nice work india bull...plzzz...bring out more repped u for your effort

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  #79  
Old 22nd May 2006
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india bulls has celebrities hunting for his/her autographindia bulls has celebrities hunting for his/her autographindia bulls has celebrities hunting for his/her autograph
Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, "Maine apse shaadi

is liye ki hai ki humare bache hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul

kar aaye.

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  #80  
Old 22nd May 2006
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india bulls has celebrities hunting for his/her autographindia bulls has celebrities hunting for his/her autographindia bulls has celebrities hunting for his/her autograph
Lady 2 Maid: Tu saare kaam mein bekaar hai!

Bai: Bister mein to aap se aachi hoon!

Lady: Tujhe sab ne bola kya?

Bai: Nahin, driver bol raha tha!

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