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Old 19th February 2011
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ANOKHAY GULAAM (Completed)

Anokhay Gulaam

Dosto mai ek kahani pesh karne ja raha hun. Ye kahaani ek aisi ladki ki hai jo halaat ke kroor thapero ko sahti hui KUNDAN ban chuki thi. Aise heeray jawahraat samaaj me har jagah mojood hote hai. Kewal paarki nazaron ki zarurat hoti hai. Agar ham apne aas paas ka observation karen to aisi kahaniya aur aise kirdar bikhre milenge. Agar ye kahani mere exbii friends ke dilon me thodi si bhi jagah bana paayi to mai apni mehnat ko safal maanunga.

Links of updates: Page No. 2, 3, 4 , 7 , 8 , 10 , 12 , 13 , 17 , 19 , 21 , 25 , 28 , 30 , 34 , 37 , 41 , 43 , 45 , 48 , 49 , 50 , 53 , 55 , 56 , 60 , 66 , 70 , 77 , 79 , 86 , 87 , 89 , 90 , 92 , 93 , 98 , 101 , 105 , 111 , 114 , 116 , 120 , 123 , 124 , 126 , 127 , 132 , 135 , 137 , 139 , 143 , 146 , 148 , 152 , 155 , 158 , 160 , 163 , 165 , 172 , 176 , 178 , 180 , 182 , 185 , 187 , 189 , 191 , 196 , 199 , 202 , 207 , 208 , 211 , 215 , 221 , 226 , 231 , 236 , 241 , 246
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ANOKHAY GULAAM (Completed) ,
Imran Seies

Last edited by super84 : 25th August 2011 at 04:59 AM.

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Old 19th February 2011
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Story Shuro ki jayee

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Old 19th February 2011
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Ghar ke tamam log air conditioned kamro me araam kar rahe the. Baahar bhayankar loo chal rahi thi. Jhulsa dene wali loo. May mahina ka antim saptaah ki dopahri thi.

Us ne udaasi se khirki kholi. Loo ka thapeda jaise uska intezar hi kar raha tha. Uske gulaabi gaalon par zannatedar thappad ki tarah loo ka thapeda takraya. Gaalon ki laali aur badh gayi. Us ne jaldi se khidki band kar di.
"Hay Bhagwaan, kasi loo chal rahi hai." usne socha aur chitkhini laga kar waapas apne bistar ki or chal padi. Saamne diwar par tangi ghadi ki suiyaan 2 baja rahi thin. Usay thik 4 baje kitchen ki or chal padna tha. Shaam ki chaaye thik 5 baje lagti thi. Arthaat abhi aaram karne ke liye uske paas do ghante the. Aaram ka samay bhi iss bhayankar garmi aur loo ke kaaran hi mil paaya tha. Warna agar dusre log baahar hote to kisi na kisi kaam me uljha hi dete. Us se adhik se adhik kaam lene me us ghar ke logon ko garv mahsus hota tha.

Us samay bhi koi kaam us ke supurd kiya jaa sakta tha. Kuchh na sahi to chaachiji ke paao hi dabane hote. Lekin is samay agar chaachiji us se pair dabwaati to usay bhi a.c. ki thandhak naseeb ho jaati aur ye baat kisi ko swikaar nahi thi.
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Imran Seies

Last edited by super84 : 22nd August 2016 at 05:40 PM.

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Old 19th February 2011
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jawed bahi...good start continue...dear
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Old 20th February 2011
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start is looking gud...wat nxt??continue...

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Old 20th February 2011
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Good start bhai
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Old 20th February 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lusty2010 View Post
jawed bahi...good start continue...dear

Quote:
Originally Posted by gladipec View Post
start is looking gud...wat nxt??continue...

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Originally Posted by Rajtej View Post
Good start bhai
Shukriya bhai. Maine shuru kar di hai. Aap sab ka saath chaahiye. Isi tarah hosla badhate rahen. Next update kal.
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Old 20th February 2011
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ek aur naye lekhak!!

to the writers group from readers

Ravi ke baad ek aur reader kum hota dikhayi de raha hai mujhe

kyunke mujhe yeh pata hai jab ek lekhak apne kahani likhne mein doob jata hai to dusre kahaniyon ko padhne ka mawka hi nahin milta

khair, Super, bahot achi shuruwaat hai magar yaar bahot hi chota update hai....kum se kum koyi 1000 words to likho yaar to pahrne mein maza aye....

the subject seems to be interesting, i feel it gonna be a good one... keep it going dear

weise yeh 'loo' kia hota hai bhai?

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Old 20th February 2011
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super84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps database
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Casinar View Post
ek aur naye lekhak!!

to the writers group from readers

Ravi ke baad ek aur reader kum hota dikhayi de raha hai mujhe

kyunke mujhe yeh pata hai jab ek lekhak apne kahani likhne mein doob jata hai to dusre kahaniyon ko padhne ka mawka hi nahin milta

khair, Super, bahot achi shuruwaat hai magar yaar bahot hi chota update hai....kum se kum koyi 1000 words to likho yaar to pahrne mein maza aye....

the subject seems to be interesting, i feel it gonna be a good one... keep it going dear

weise yeh 'loo' kia hota hai bhai?
Bhai, ye to apni zindagi me maine pahli story ki pahli kist likha. Itne me to mera dam phool gaya. Ab thoda relax hokar phir try karunga sir.

Iss thread par aap aaye mere liye gaurav ki baat hai. Aur aap ne reply post kiya yah dekh kar mai to saara jahaan paa liya.

Casi bhai mai fitratan(by nature) ek reader hi hu. Aap jaante hain ki kisi ka chaahe sab kuchh badal jaaye magar nature nahi badal sakta.

Casi bhai, mujhe nahi pata ki aap dunya ke kaun se bhaag ke baasi(baashinda) hain. Par mujhe pata hai ki jahan duniya ke kisi hisse ke log sweater, woolen dress, razaai kambal ko nahi jaante honge kyoki zindagi me unhe in cheezon ki zarurat nahi padi hogi. Waheen bahut se mulk hain jahaan ke log GARMI ka mausam jaante hi nahi honge.
To bhai aap sachmuch 'LOO' ko nahi jaante to mai iss kahaani ke zariye hi bata dunga.
Aapka shukriya mai kin lafzon me karun bhaai. Bas request hai, aise ho hosla dete rahen.
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ANOKHAY GULAAM (Completed) ,
Imran Seies

Last edited by super84 : 20th February 2011 at 08:02 AM.

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Old 20th February 2011
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super84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps databasesuper84 has hacked the reps database
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ANOKHAY GULAAM

Us ne ek gahri saans li aur uski nigaah aaine par jaa padi. Loo ke thapedon se surkh gaal abhi tak indra dhanush si satrangi chhata pesh kar rahe the. Wah aahista aahista aaine ki or badh gayi aur aaine ne uski purn jaadui chhawi uske saamne rakh diya. Raat din ki jhirkiyan, baat baat par vyang ke teer, har kadam par apmaan, tarah tarah ke lanchhan, din-raat ki ghutan uske abtak ki athaarah barshon ki zindagi me bhare pade the. Lekin uski sundarta shayad in baaton ko jhelte huwe aur bhi nikharti jaa rahi thi. Ishwar ne use na kewal sindur aur maide ke mishran ka rang pradaan kiya tha, balki uske nain naks bhi hazaro me ek banaya tha. Gulabi aur bhige bhige se uske hoth kisi saadhu sant ki tapasya bhang kar sakte the. Surahidaar gardan se niche do yauwan kapot kisi sar uncha kar ke khade pahaad ka udaharan the. Kamar to maano muthee me aa jaane laayak. Uske pusht evam kaafi ubhar liye prist bhaag yaani nitamb uske chalne phirne par jo kaamuk drishya banaate the use dekhkar sukhe sariyal budhon me bhi jawaani paida kar dene ke liye kaafi the.
"Aisi bhi kya behaya zindagi, ek pal ko chain nahi par husn aur jawaani phuti pad rahi thi. Ishwar ne uski saari kamiyon ke badle tauba shikan husn dekar maano har kami ko pura kar diya tha. Lekin kis kaam ka yah roop aur yauwan. Jo har samay taano aur vyang ka shikar hota rahta tha.
.... Chaachiji ka wash me nahi tha nahi to use jahar dekar maar deti.
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My Story Threads:
ANOKHAY GULAAM (Completed) ,
Imran Seies

Last edited by super84 : 21st June 2011 at 06:45 PM.

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